When we sell ourselves (and God) short

This is not the first time the topic of this post has been written and unfortunately it probably won't be the last, but I think it's pressing so hard on my heart that I need to get it out.

Comparison. We need to stop it. 

When I compare my life to someone else's I am saying that the way I was made, created, formed is not good enough. And I'm basically putting aside my good and perfect Heavenly Father who has promised to never leave me or forsake me, who has assured me He won't lead me down the wrong path.

I heard this from a friend before about salvation when talking about how hard we work to do the work already done at the cross. She shared that she gets this picture in her head of Jesus on the cross taking on all the sin of the world and God forgiving it (past, present, and future) and then standing there saying to Him, "That's not good enough. I can handle this."

This image has greatly impacted my life. When I think (or say out loud - guilty) that I wish my life looked more like that person's - a friend, a celebrity, a stranger in the grocery store - it's like I'm telling God, "What you have given me isn't working for me. Can you roll those dice again and see what you come up with? I'm waiting."

This lie (let's call a spade a spade here, friends) that says my life is worse because it doesn't include a husband, or children, or a solid career path, or constant financial stability, is harmful. It keeps me from experiencing peace beyond understanding, peace I can only receive from Jesus, joy that exceeds all my wildest expectations, and faith that is firmly rooted and can't be shaken by the strongest earthquake.

For me, and maybe for you, I need to stop saying, "I'm getting this wrong. I'm way behind."

What I (we) should start saying is, "I am a smart, capable, thoughtful woman (or man), daughter (or son) of the Most High King. I am adored, loved, cared for, and entrusted with the power of the Gospel. The same power that raised Christ from the grave lives in me and that is better than any 'should be' or 'I wish' thoughts that find their way into my heart."

Living this way may not leave me thinking I'm crushing every moment or nailing every task, but it does leave room for a lot of grace. I acknowledge that I will make mistakes and at times I will fail, but my life is paid for. I am free. And I'm choosing to walk in this freedom.

It's time...

... to recharge.
... to re-examine.
... to restore.
... to change.

Here it is. My first blog post in more than six years. This post in particular has been bubbling up inside of me for about three days, but I've pretty much been itching to re-enter this space for much longer.

I don't know what this is going to look like. I don't promise frequency. But I think this is going to be a mix of things. It will be a space where I can think out loud, examine my heart, share my joys - and my disappointments. I might even just share something I think is funny, or inspirational, or that someone else wrote (with credit attached). I don't "get" the blogging world and I don't know how deep into all of this I'll go, but why not stick a toe into the water?

I'm going to start with this, a response of sorts to something that's stirring inside of me. It's something happening in my heart, my soul, and my brain. And it's all pretty confusing. I would say it started six months ago, but I'm pretty sure it's just part of the continual journey of faith.

You see, in March I got accepted to be on a Launch Team for a book written by Jen Hatmaker. I'll tell you one thing - it was a great marketing move. Get 500 people to read your book before it's released, give them the tools to share links and images on their social media pages, write "real people" endorsements, and then watch the orders roll in. That was the idea. In her own words Jen told us, "Initially I said these are the only endorsements I want in my book... And that's what I thought is was going to be. Right? 'Well, we'll get together and we'll just, I don't know, read a book and maybe make some memes? I don't know. We'll put some stuff on Instagram?' Who could have ever imagined what this has become? I can not believe it, and it is precious, and it is beautiful, and I will never forget this as long as I live."

Here's what really happened: 500 people got the book, hopped onto a Facebook group, loved each other, prayed for each other, made each other laugh, and THEN launched a book. Oh, and then we threw a party. I'm basically wrecked (in a good way) for any other Launch Team in the future. I don't want to just get through this experience or move on to the next thing. Nope, I want to embrace it, savor it, the same way I'm embracing all my new friends and enjoying these relationships.

This book launched a community and I'm praying it launches a movement. My hope is that what I feel here, right now for the women I've met and talked to, those of us who have soaked ourselves in this book and can quote all of it, can translate to my life with the people I have been doing life with for the last five years. I know it can because I've already made adjustments in my life based on this simple directive: "Be kind. Be you. Love Jesus."

There's more going on in my heart right now and I'm looking forward (some spaces begrudgingly, if I'm being honest) to sorting through it in the coming days and weeks. I know I'm moving into a new space and I know I'm not doing it alone. My "For the Love" sisterhood has introduced me to many women who are cheering me on. And I can't forget those who have been there for quite some time.

Here are some pictures from my weekend:

Hanging out with Erin on the porch swing outside the Toms store - wasn't expecting to click with someone as quickly as it happened with this woman, but it did and I'm pumped to see what happens next!

My roommate for one night, Katie from VA - this girl was too good to me, letting me spill the thoughts stored in my head at 1:15 AM as I insisted that I really needed to fall asleep.

These are the girls I spent the day with on Saturday and I would have been lost without them. So thrilled with the way we loved each other and accepted each other as friends and sisters so quickly!

And lastly, meeting Jen Hatmaker. She did this more than 200 times on Saturday night and each hug was personal, each conversation unique, and the love of God shines through her.